Mississippi Burning

For some reason, we were convinced that Tiger Woods was down in the Caribbean on some crazy yacht with a ton of his geeky friends. Turns out, he’s not, he’s in Mississippi, more specifically Hattiesburg, Mississippi. Why is he there? Well, he’s in sex rehab. Of course, he’s in sex rehab! It’s not his fault that he cheated on his wife at least 10 different skanky versions of her, or that he carried on while she was pregnant. He’s ill. He has a disease. He likes the nookie. I’m sorry, I thought that was called being a guy.

Unless, they’re going to castrate the worlds greatest golfer/shitiest husband, he’s still going to like getting some. His problem aint sex, it’s staying faithful, his problem ain’t fuckin’, he’s just a dirty fucker!

This has gotta be one of the biggest scams ever created by guys, ‘sex addiction’, we ain’t doctors, but we’re thinking the guys who are selling this ‘addiction’ business, aint doctors either! This is like Dr. Phil cooked it up in his kitchen, kinda how Rick James probably cooked up the crack in his kitchen!

They say this place Woods is in is like a jail, as the first alleged post-scandal photo of him was released and became viral on the net. No, in jail you don’t wanna  be involved in any kind of shagging . And, while womens groups, and family groups, and Ryan Seacrest are probably up in arms, we’ll tell you who was the most pissed off. Bobby Brown. Bobby Brown is probably ringing up Whitney every five minutes, screaming, ‘I was an addict, I was an addict, I was sick’ . ’I didn’t know she was 14′, no, wait that’s R Kelly.