Dancing with the…um..Stars?

Another day, another reality show ‘cast’ or ‘lineup’ revealed. No, it’s not Survivors of the Bachelor Races. This time around, it’s everybody’s favorite pastime, ballroom dancing. Tell you, if I had a nickel for every time someone asked me to go or about ballroom dancing, well, I’d be just as broke as now.

On to the cast…

David Arquette: He’s Dewey from the Scream films. Most famous for being Courtney Cox’s ex, and a few incidents that inspired rehab.

Chaz Bono: Sonny and Cher’s kid. Was a girl, now a dude, and has a book out. Also, weighs like 300 pounds. Good luck floor.

Nancy Grace: The absolute nut job who has a ‘news reaction’ show. Probably owns a shitload of cats, and likely talks to her plants. Can’t wait to see her dance!

Ricki Lake: Hugely popular talk show host. In the 90′s. Early 90′s.

Rob Kardashian: ‘Famous’ for being someone’s brother, which is fitting because they’re famous for being someone’s daughters. Oh, and home video porn stars.

Ron Artest: Maybe, the only legitimate celebrity and recognizable face on the show.

Chynna Phillips: Remember Wilson Phillips? Yeah, I don’t really either.

Kristin Cavallari: She’s been in Laguna Beach, and The Hills. She’s a reality tv actress on a celebrity dance show.

Carson Kressley: One of the guys from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. That show was huge! Like, ten years ago.

J.R. Martinez: He starred in All My Children and got badly burned while in Iraq. So, bad actor, and plays with matches?

Hope Solo: Absolute hottie goalkeeper for the US Women’s soccer team. Too bad no one watches soccer.

Elisabetta Canalis: She’s huge in Italy, and is George Clooney’s ex. So, naturally she’s a celeb in the states.

After seeing all of these names, all I can say is, that poor, poor dancefloor.