Adam Lambert is a Douche

Yeah, we raved about him too, when he sang on American Idol, but could you pull off anything more cliche? Then, come up with some pathetic reasoning? If you’ve stopped watching awards  shows like 80% of the rest of the people, you may not know what we’re talking about. Adam Lambert performed ‘For Your Entertainment’ on Sunday at the American Music Awards, and caused a bit of stir. Why, you may ask? Well, he kissed his bandmate and then pretended like he was blowing another dude on stage. Of course, people are up in arms about it, including the Parent Television Counci, the PTC, and their president Timothy Winters. Every time I hear about these guys or councils
or memberships blasting this kind of stuff, I always think of that Family Guy episode where Peter and Lois are talking about the same kind of thing, while putting on bondage gear.

It’s as if people can’t deal with reality, that, and they think it’s still 1824.

Anyways, back to why Adam Lambert is a douche. So, he does the most cliched thing any performer can possibly do, try to cause a stir. And in the most obvious of ways. So, we’ve got no issue with the crotch grabbing, the making out, the pretend fellatio, we’re more embarrassed about Lady Gaga than anything else, really from the show. When questioned on his performance, Lambert defended it as his artistic integrity and freedom. He said he wanted to promote freedom of expression.  Someone pass us the bucket.

Adam, you’re singing a song called For Your Entertainment, check out the chorus,

No escaping when I start
Once I’m in I own your heart
There’s no way you’ll ring the alarm
So hold on until it’s over

You’re not singing, A Change is Coming, and you’re not singing anything radically new or revolutionary. This guys acts like hes friggin’ Kinsey. We’d love for the day to come, when one of these guys or gals just comes out and says,

‘You know I don’t want to be known as that guy from American Idol, I need to be famous, my record sales are not what I thought they’d be, shit, I don’t even get recognized when I go to the mall,  so I thought I’d pretend to blow my drummer/fan/announcer so you could look up my album, and maybe
download a song, and if you’re dumb enough, even pay for it.’

Seriously. Don’t give us no artistic credibility bullshit. Britney Spears splashed her junk up and down LA, no one takes her seriously. Lindsay Lohan did the same. Shit, Boy George tied some poor bastard down, and still people are only singing Culture Club hits. Adam Lambert was praised on Idol
for being original, and now he’s proven to be just like every other flash in the pan. And, don’t bring up the Madonna comparison, because she’s been doing this shit for so friggin’ long, and has the library to back it up year by year. No need to compare to Eminem, because, well, who the hells listening to Eminem’s new album anyways?