Rick Santorum is a Republican politician, who was a lawyer before getting involved with politics, and acted as a representative, then a senator, and is now a candidate for the 2012 Republican Party presidential primaries. He was once considered an underdog, but recently won the Iowa caucuses, vaulting him back to the front of the leadership race. His time as senator saw him sponsor the Workplace Religious Freedom Act with US Senator John Kerry.

Dan Savage is a columnist, and, a gay rights activist,and, has a column, Savage Love, that is shared through countless publications, including local rag, The Georgia Straight. Dan Savage and his husband, Terry Miller, actually began the It Gets Better project to help prevent suicide amongst LGBT youth.

So, how, you must wonder, do these two people, likely, on two different ends of the political spectrum cross paths? Well, through Santorum’s  stance on homosexuality and gay marriage, but, you’re likely wondering, there’s lots of politicians that are against gay marriage and such, and there’s lots columnists that aren’t, why these two? To understand that, you have to understand the level of idiocy in Santorum’s comments.

In 2003, the AP was interviewing Santorum, and asked his views on the child sex abuse scandals in the Catholic Church. Santorum responded by stating that the priests were engaged in ‘a basic homosexual relationship’, and went on to say that he had a ‘problem with homosexual acts’. Apparently, he doesn’t have a problem with paedophiles dressed up as priests. He continued that marriage was ‘one thing’, a relationship between a man and a woman, and he knew of no society, in history that treated it otherwise. He ultimately, juxtaposed same-sex marriage with the notion of marriage based on paedophilia or bestiality.

The fact that a member of public office, and now, a potential candidate for the US presidency, could come up with logic so ludicrous is nothing short of shocking, until you start actually paying attention to politics and politicians in general. His statement, drew a strong response from Savage, who launched a contest to coin a new definition for the word ‘santorum’. The winning definition is nothing short of awesome. Savage, set up a website that would keep the ‘slang definition’ of santorum alive and well on the internet. The site is a top result when searching for Rick Santorum, and political pundits refer to it as ‘Santorum’s Google problem’. Santorum actually tried to lobby Google to remove the search result, a request Google turned down, no wonder as Savage has been an invited speaker at the Google campus in regards to his It Gets Better campaign.

So, what is the definition?

Santorum is the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes a byproduct of anal sex.

Of course it is.

Next week they’re launching a 55-inch Organic-LED Tv, it’ll be the worlds largest OLED TV, and have a thickness of 4 millimetres, that’s thinner than most smart phones. It’s going to weigh just over 7 kilograms, compare that to the 242 pound CRT set that used to sit in your parent’s front room. The set has been manufactured using new technologies that keeps costs low, not sure if that translates to massive savings for us the consumer, because pricing hasn’t been released yet .

Oh, yeah, LG is also going to launch a 84-inch 3-D TV that will offer a resolution of 3,840 x 2,160 pixels, and titled a 4K set.

Wondering what OLED’s are and the power behind them? Check out this short clip.

Karel Abelobsky was arrested while trying to board a transatlantic flight with 248 live animals in Argentina. He had all of the animals, including many a poisonous snake in plastic containers in a bulging suitcase. A number of the creatures he was carrying are also considered endangered, just like his freedom.

Iberia Airlines, apparently the flight of choice for animal smugglers, stopped the man when through X-Ray machines they noticed moving creatures. Two of the animals were found dead, due to a lack of oxygen, it’s said that Karel faces 10 years in prison.

The big question here is who called in sick as a X-ray technician? I doubt these smugglers plans were to simply try to walk through an airport security station with that many living creatures. I imagine the man on the inside got a case of some Argentinian stomach problems, or just was on break, enjoying a coffee crisp.

“Toronto school band hard balls”

Earl Beatty Public School banned soccer, basketball, street hockey, volleyball balls this week after a parent suffered a concussion by being struck by a ball. The school said it couldn’t guarantee the safety of the kids, staff, or parents from these deadly playthings. The ban includes the dreaded tennis ball.

Now, of course this is likely the most absolutely ridiculous fucking thing ever. First off, how soft is this parent that gets smoked in the head and gets concussed?! Keep your head up! And, if a kid kicked that soccer ball, put in some soccer program, our national program could use some talent.

Apparently, the staff were complaining too, saying it was dangerous for them to be out there. There are so many things wrong with that statement. How badly does a tennis ball thrown hurt? By a 12 year old? An if you don’t want them to throw balls at you, don’t treat them like shit!

This is just another page out of the ‘bubble wrap your child’ movement, and the union book. That’s right, the union book. Why the hell can’t a teacher stand outside during recess and call some shots? It’s because, we’re too worried about hurting their feelings and stunting their emotional spirits, that we’d rather ill prepare these kids for the real world. Teachers seem to be striking more than teaching and disciplining. Whatever happened to detention and standing against the wall? That used to stop me from throwing balls at my teachers head.

I’d love for the students to trip on a book, and hurt themselves, leading to ban of books in the schools.

Way to go Earl Beatty Public School, you’ve encouraged casual drug use, smoking, vandalism, obesity, and gang violence by killing natural sport on your grounds. I don’t know who Earl Beatty is, but I’m pretty sure he’s rolling in his grave, probably holding a football.

Hugo Boss

Maybe the definitive designer clothing label, and a brand that is seen as the creme de la creme when it comes suits and mens fashion. However, it’s beginnings weren’t as fashionable , Hugo Boss, coming out of bankruptcy, decided to join the Nazi party, reasoning that their commitment to end unemployment as a primary reason. He became a primary supplier of Nazi uniforms, including the Schutzstaffel, and Hitler Youth. As demand grew, Boss leaned on prisoners of war and forced labourers to make his clothing. German historian, Henning Kober, stated the company were ‘avowed Nazis’ , and that Hugo Boss, even had a photograph of Hitler and himself in his apartment, the photo was taken in Hitler’s retreat. After Nazi Germany fell, an investigation revealed Boss’s Nazi sympathies and financial support of the SS. He was stripped of voting rights, business licenses, and heavily fined.  He died sooner after the fall of Nazi Germany.

IBM

That’s right, everyone’s favourite computer company (What fruit/vegetable?) also was involved with the Nazis, and, while you’re calling bullshit, and saying that computers weren’t around back then, keep reading. While PC’s and Mac’s weren’t kicking about, IBM did have a ‘chad like/scantron like system), similar to those small sheets you’d fill for multiple choice high school exams. The IBM systems allowed Hitler to track down all of the Jews he wished to slaughter, and reading particular ‘punch cards’ would reveal if one was a Gypsy or a Jew, and how they were going to be killed. IBM sold the machines at a premium to Hitler’s Germany, and then were sure to address any needs the Reich had moving forward. How about for the big blue machine?

VW

That’s right, the company that made the car that’s known for peace and love was synonymous with Hitler and his initiatives. Hitler wanted a vehicle that could carry two adults, and three children, and be very affordable. He got in touch with Ferdinand Porsche (yes, that one) and asked him to make a Volkswagen (‘people’s car’ in German). The term Volks was commonly used by the Reich, many of their initiatives and products started with Volks, think ‘i’ and Apple. The car was affordable and became subject of a patent lawsuit by car maker Tatra , which Hitler solved for Porsche by invading Tatra’s country of origin, Czechoslovakia.

Bayer

The company that makes your favourite headache medicine, Aspirin, and, once sold, Heroin, as with many pharmaceutical companies have worrisome roots and practices. Bayer sponsored the experiments of Nazi Josef Mengele, and in 1956, Fritz ter Meer became chairman of Bayer’s supervisory board. Meer was later convicted for carrying out experiments on human subjects at Aushwitz, and sentenced to 5 years. Bayer was also once part of IG Farben, a German conglomerate of ‘chemcos’ , IG Farben was involved with making Zyklon B, a chemical used in gas chambers in concentration camps. The company also used slave labor in it’s factories, and after Meer served his sentences, he returned to their head of the supervisory board.

Jerry Sandusky, used to be the defensive coordinator for Penn State, and early this November was arrested on 40 counts relating to sexual abuse of little boys over a 15 year period. A grand jury investigation revealed that a grad assistant told Paterno in 2002 that he had seen Sandusky performing a sex act on a 10 year old boy in the Penn State shower facilities. Paterno told the Athletic Director the next day. The matter seemed to disappear at that point. Paterno never contacted authorities.

When this all came to fruition, and Sandusky likely continued on his fucked up path of destruction for 9 more years, Paterno said he’d resign at the end of the season. Penn State, the next day, fired him.

The logical response to this of normal thinking adults would be that this makes sense. Paterno protected the Penn State brand and reputation, rather than going out of his way to protect innocent children. I don’t care how many games he has won, or how long he has been coaching, morally, you don’t call your athletic director when you think something like this is going on. I’m not calling Mr. Trotsky, my grade 9 gym teacher, because I think my neighbour has a grow up.

What blew my mind, is that much of the Penn State student body went up in arms when Paterno was fired. Many of them rioted, they turned over a news van, damaged lamp posts, injured an ESPN reporter. Joe Paterno is a legend they said, a good guy, he did so much for Penn State and their players. That’s what they rioting for. It’s funny, I always think University or College students are way more forward thinking than they actually are. Universities and institutes of ‘higher education’ are meant to give their students a stronger understanding of all elements of society, thought, and culture. They’re meant to help give a renewed focus of a moral compass, and fight for truth and justice, no matter how harrowing the circumstances. What they are meant to do is if you see an act of rape, you do not report it to your coach, nor your director, you get the authorities involved.

The real evil here is Jerry Sandusky, but it could’ve been stopped so much sooner if Joe Paterno truly was the leader many thought he was.

The Easter Island Statue Project is a privately funded research program and archive, and have been focused on, well, the Easter Island statues that are world famous, looking into the stories behind them, and typical things that archaeologists do. Think more Ross Gellar than Indiana Jones. What they uncovered was that the world famous ‘heads’ have bodies, and carved into the torsos of those bodies are petroglyphs that depict a number of things, including a sailing vessel. Check out the pictures.

The story gets crazier, the owner of the farm, Terry Thompson, 62, opened all of the cages and doors and let the animals loose, after which he promptly killed himself. The animals took off into the city. Can you imagine driving home after a long days work, and a 300 pound Bengal tiger walks past your car? The chances of which are pretty high, after all the farm did have 17 lions. Here’s a question, where the fuck do you find 17 lions from?! 17?!

The vast majority of these animals have now been found, and put down, causing some animal activists to say that that’s not right. That in and of itself makes me ask a couple of questions to the tree huggers, starting with where the hell were you when Terry had all these animals cooped up on his farm? The other thing question, did you want authorities to sedate these and return them to their natural habitat? It’s not like their natural habitat was north Ohio, and I don’t see no sheriff hailing a cargo flight to Africa.  Authorities already had said that when they tried to tranquillize one of the big cats, it absolutely lost it’s shit. Well, duh!  The most effective tranquillizer seemed to be the dude who actually drove into a lion on the interstate.

See how much damage one man full of crazy can do?

Here’s the beauty, Gervais publicly pondered if he should get a few friends, such as, Chris Rock, Louis CK, Karl Pilkington, and Larry David to run a live ‘off side’ commentary online with the awards. The idea is magic, no network or corporate entity can stop any of these guys in ripping anybody, or from saying anything. Even, the Golden Globes would like it, more people would likely watch while streaming the online commentary on a computer. That’d make ratings go up on the television screen, even if most people would have it on mute. The only person it would affect would be the host, because who would want to listen to a ‘semi-neutered’ comic, when you can have a few guys fully game? To make matters more interesting, Chris Rock already tweeted, ‘I’m in.’ linking to Gervais’s story.

Here’s a clip of Gervais opening the Golden Globes.